i was working part-time at a five and dime
june 26, 2000

he asked me if it would be alright if we rented a classic movie. that's all it took for my heart to do a little flutter (do you know just how many guys complain about old movies?), and we walked home hand in hand to pop two hours' worth of black and white paul newman into the VCR.

we got home and my coughing started up again, so he put his shoes on and went up to the store to get some ny-quil for me. after midnight! he did it just to make me feel better. and i know he was as tired as i was. how selfless.

yesterday we watched smokey and the bandit together and discussed why it should be considered as important as american graffiti. without any trace of irony.

after that, i got ready to go out, and when i came out of my room, he looked at me like he did the first night we went out to dinner and actually dressed like a girl. we were just friends, but i realized that no male had ever looked at me like that before. it was only a matter of time before our friendship blossomed into more.

yesterday was no different. i had just fixed my hair and make-up, and he gave me a look that made me feel warm all over. his eyes smile when he looks at me like that. nothing creepy, just sweet.

whenever we go out, he insists on opening doors and closing them for me. he accidentally started to shut my leg in the car door and when i joked about it (i thought he was trying to be funny) i could tell that he genuinely felt bad for it.

he brought me a stuffed dinosaur when he got off the plane. i am a sucker for stuffed animals.

he spoils me and, in turn, tells me i'm a pain in the ass. but he smiles when he says it, so i don't think it's bothering him too much. in fact, i think he kind of likes it.

he initiates conversations with my friends, rather than waiting for them to start one up. that says a lot about his character, i think. my best guy friend, rajesh, met him last night and they were talking a mile-a-minute from the get go. raj told me today that he's never liked one of my friends that much, and that ryan was a really good guy.

he shared some of his directing ideas to me the other day. i am amazed that one person can have such an abundance of creative thought. i am so surrounded by your normal corporate brain-numbing thought that i never stop to think about being really creative anymore. it's making me want to start writing -- for real -- again.

he ate mediterranean food with me for lunch one day, and didn't throw a fit because it was "too exotic" (see above comment about old movies). that night, we ate chicken wings and beer and put journey in the jukebox.

contentment, folks. this is contentment.


Listening to: Gordon Lightfoot, The Stone Roses

Tonight: Rajesh and Erin are coming over for a Scarface party. We're ordering pizza and playing the drinking game where you take a drink everytime they say a four-letter word. Ryan advised we stick with lighter stuff, otherwise I'll be out within 20 minutes of the opening credits.

Wishing: My boss would hire on an extra person in my department to take some of this workload off of me, like he should have done by now. And to maybe catch a baseball game this week.

Two Cents: I saw Shaft last night. It was good. Not the best thing I've ever seen, but I really enjoyed it. My favorite part of the movie was the fact that Vanessa Williams was wearing a bulletproof vest with a picture of Pam Grier on it. I went through a big Pam Grier worship a couple of summers ago, so it kind of rejuvenated that. I apologize to any of my friends that may get irritated by a new revival of Coffy rentals.